A Day in the Life of an AstRylnaut

2011-02-25T14:08:00.003+08:00

I read here once in awhile only to find myself haunted by the things that happen in the past of the course of two people falling in love out of chance and then out of it with circumstances that surrounds and kills it.

I feel lost. And guarded against all of it. And I don't know what I'm doing anymore, I just want to feel safe. Which I am finding again. But on some days, only to feel like someone knocked me down and reminded me how all of this is going to hit me in the face one day and return to eat me out. I don't know what to do anymore.

Truth is, I've learnt to let go of what happened. And I'm having a good time moving forward. It's just weird how moments can hold me back, but slowly, despite the occasional upset, these moments are starting to fade. And I start to remember lesser and lesser of everything. I stop thinking about it completely. 'Cept on the days I get reminded of how it all came to an abrupt halt, I just don't.

I thank you for trying, and I want to feel like it was okay that I gave it my all because I meant it. But today, I want to put all of this away. And so should you.

Make it easy for yourself. Because I was lucky.

2010-11-10T13:40:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I feel like I forgot the past and moved on to the present... But there are traces of the past that never stopped haunting me. But I keep running forward anyway, there's no time for stalling.

All I ever needed was to be happy and to feel appreciated. That's all.

I don't miss any part of it, I just wonder why it had to be that way.

Good day

2010-08-30T15:17:00.002+08:00

We dreamed in heist

We never did, we only tried, we only hoped for something good.
Anyway I think I've made an official move to tumblr. Quite like it there and omg my basketball dreams are returning, need to get amped to improve and get better finishings already.

God this stomachache is killing HAHAH. And did I mention I really hate stupid drama, so pointless and ridiculous. I liked YOG toooooo much!

Realized I haven't been blogging for a really long time. Used to do it everyday until I suddenly lost the time to do it over the past semester and got hooked on reblogging.

Man I need to reorganize this post but honestly hahah, nah, I'm not going anywhere.

Goodbye!

R

2010-06-25T00:09:00.002+08:00

Crazed emotions.

I've had enough of battling with all of what's around me. I need a breather. No one really gets it anymore. Why do I care? Why do I try? I just need some space. Some time. Something to calm my nerves and bring it all back.

Mae has been awesome, but my life... has been stupid.
I just want to bring myself back to the start where I knew nothing but a blank space of happiness. Where I just liked things the way they were, and didn't have to think so much.

God you're always putting me in a spot. So make my life better in 5 years time. K thnx.

R

Enclose me

2010-06-10T00:14:00.002+08:00

So the question is...

to move or... not to move?

Have been utilizing this space for so long, it's followed me through good and bad and all time round, but I think it's about time I let it rest... It's been really long. And tumblr's doing good to me hahah oh damn. But then again!

School has been draining as usual! Haven't had the mood to blog much, so thus. Just going nuts trying to figure out what I want my life to be like. Kindda got the hang of going with the flow, having fun with my little bubble of joy and then knowing I can always turn things around if I want to, because honestly, it isn't too hard if you always try.

I'm so tired I need to sleep. Alright, soon after PR! (:

R

2010-05-10T02:12:00.000+08:00

I'm fucking breaking.

Please, save me.

R

2010-04-29T02:27:00.002+08:00

Runaway, runaway!

Hello blogger don't die hahah ok I kid. School has been seriously too hectic for my own good, ups and downs along the way but that doesn't mean I'm gonna die. Swear I need to set myself back in the mood before I get too screwed damn.

Alright VERY TIRED NOW zomg, but had an easy one, caught the Runaways movie premier (swear it was damn random cus I managed to win tix by saying I wna be an astronaut like the one in Armageddon) but okay whatever hehe. Awesome shit but I need to sleep.

GOODNIGHT!

R

2010-04-24T01:37:00.002+08:00

Super tired much and only one week of school has past. There's still another 15 more weeks ahead zomg save me save me save me I am going nuts already. So many damned things to juggle >:
Have been tumblrin' quite abit, not alot, gaaah. Quite lost the drive to blog already. Guess I'm just too tired in general and too comfortable with my life already aaaahhhhh. This is so not cool.

Sidetracking a little, HoeMingJun is damn irritating and stupid but still Luv hahah.

I'm graduating in about a year's time... Hopefully nothing goes wrong man damn! And overseas intern, HERE I COME MAN.

R

2010-04-14T01:22:00.002+08:00

Is my love, your drug?

Hello there, haven't been blogging here for a long long long long long time and I am about dying. This holidays have been rather productive, focused mainly on my basketball and work as well as re-organizing my energy levels here and there, good embargo from the world and getting back on track. Feels good, feels awesome to be back, in control and more ready than ever.

Been tumblring at astrylnaut! Very fun stuff, hahah, finally got in the mood. Feels good to let out all emotions through picture instead of plain old words, I quite like the concept hahah. And I need a new hair color, grow hair grow I hope you hurry grow! I need long hair, pronto!

School's starting next week, I'm starting to feel a little bit of the pressure coming down on me already. And my procrastinator attitude will start to be a bitch I should really get a hang on myself.

In any case, youth cup's fast approaching too, and I don't know if I'm even ready for it. I'm worried actually, I just hope everything will be good (: I believe it will be.

And I should have to say, things are rough but that doesn't mean we won't get better (:
I love you.

Trust is powerful, we all know that.

R

2010-03-30T12:40:00.002+08:00

"I wish you would just show up on my doorstep. Not with anything special, just you. And when I’d open the door you’d smile and while I’m trying to figure out what the hell you’re doing here you’d tell me how hard the past months have been, how much you’ve thought about me, how much you regretted everything. And then you’d take me into your arms and ask me to forgive you and I would without hesitation. Then you’d grab my face and kiss me the way you used to and everything would be perfect again."

I just want to sleep it off now. It's all making me sick in the stomach.
You're right, I was only asking for the world.

R

2010-03-29T00:52:00.003+08:00

Better get high/
I don't know what to say or what to do, except to be next to you, in silence, in salience. It keeps me guarded, keeps me sane, and it keeps me at best.

Then again, you could be my all, break my fall or probably be the one pushing me off the ledge.

I am tired, trial camp was such a crazy thing to be at and I have died from the heat of the sun. Feeling super weary right now and I just want to forget about the break of the dawn tomorrow and sleep in. My Sunday was eventful, was hanging out with Dad and finally got my ankle brace after one million years, drank my fav bubble tea, had awesome food and headed home for some awesome television action before I decided that it was important to start cracking on some designing. I have yet to start collating the numbers. My life is awesome.

There are so many things to do, so many things I want to say. But I'll just keep mum for now, it makes me feel... safe. It feels... out of place, yet, safe. Everything is becoming a paradox, it scares me, but then again it all puts my mind to ease.

Am I going crazy now?

R

2010-03-26T02:19:00.002+08:00

Soul searching, your body's breaking.

I don't know, I just want to laugh away. I've been jealous, been unreasonable, been crazy, been just going nuts predicting my future and thinking so hard. But I realized... So what?

I've made some crazy mistakes in my life that I truly hope to erase. But now I'm standing here, taking a look at myself in the mirror and thought, how can I erase all of what is already a part of me? Who am I trying to kid? How can I believe that this is what I really am?
I can't.

But I think it's no excuse to not stand up, walk away and emerge stronger. If I don't, I'm only going to let myself down.

We'll take it as it comes, I believe in fate, destiny and some hi-fidelity hahah.

So I was out having a couple of drinks with my cutesy colleagues and bosses (: So happens that one of my bosses, Sharon was an ex-mcmer and Mr. Ramani was her lecturer too hahah. The world sure is small. The rest were really funny, hahah especially retarded Serling hahah, forever keeping me amused ok hahah! So glad I got the chance to be working at Rockstar, the people are really awesome!

As of now I am very hyped about scoring an overseas internship, 5 months sounds like awesome breathing time (: Alright, trial camp tmr, gna turn in now!

R

2010-03-20T14:45:00.001+08:00

Oversleeping/

Can't wait to be up on the Eiffel tower for real, super hoover damn excited to be 25 and traveling around the world right now. Just kindda wanna do crazy random things in a foreign place, meeting new people and laughing my heart out. Ohhhhhhh the fun! And yes, I'd be basking in the glory of the prettiest rays the sun ever shone! Can't wait to be out there now.

And when I think of all these crazy things to do, reality starts to hit my head... It's like a million tonnes of emotion just bundled up in my stomach and sunk right to the bottom of my feet, with a crazy sensation around my toes, as if all that hesitation was about to come through bursting with a really... I don't think I can ever put all of that into words, can I?

Haven't been blogging alot lately hmmmm, guess I kindda lost the drive here and there with Twitter and its wonderful function of micro-blogging. Quite loving the idea of it.

Results have been wonderful, kindda hyped I did not too bad this semester, finally out of the average zone for once out of my two years in MCM, but then again, that isn't a pretty sign either, I look stupid everytime my eyes scan the letter and realize my cumulative GPA is really thrash, oh my, eat me alive right now please.

Okay, but what doesn't kill me only makes me stronger than everrrrr! (: So I'm pretty much alive and kicking, living and breathing, just don't even try to bring me down ever again.

Anyway, I had training and a friendly match today and I think I am starting to get the hang of the tacticals already, feeling less out of place and more ready to be performing when I am given the chance. Sir says I can be back bouncing around with them during friendly matches next week, hopefully the game on Sunday wouldn't get canceled!

Sidetracking a little, Bird was in the opposing team HAHAH! What a coincidence! (: And I finally got my babyyyy iPod nano back (my first ever iPod hehe) after like one million years :D Ok, no, it's about 2 years already but yes, VERY LONG OK.

And Sir asked if I was disappointed with Kai Xuan, that I haven't been given enough chances or attention or anything like that... But I think the team's supposed to be the one that's disappointed with me and my performance.

I haven't been contributing significantly, neither do I possess any of the skills or basics, or the right qualities, especially the selflessness that every player should be having for the game. In fact I have been very distracted from the game, unfocused for the past two months, trying to find my way, and feeling very disheartened from my injuries and the declining standard for my game when it's already bad as it is. But I will continue working hard for the team yes! Thank you team, I will give you 101% when I can (:

Work at Rockstar has been awesome, loveeee my funny colleagues! (: My days thinking of an awesome website isn't too bad either, and prog comm has been quite pleasant. Oh and not forgetting the crazy amount of meditation and reflecting on life has kindda widened my mind... Hmmmm, we'll see.

Que Sera, whatever will be will be!

Current musing = I'm from Barcelona (thanks to Ellie telling me they are awesome and then playing it in store and Serling going on and on about how she loves the Oversleeping soundtrack [she didn't know what who was the artiste/ what the track was so I went to find it]) and Kings of Convenience (Yup after listening to it everyday of my life while working, how can I not)

Can't wait to just feel the same way and have the best feeling in the world, again (:

Alright guys, live life, be happy, and fuck the rest of the world already. Very long blog post here, but I'm not gonna fucking give a shit about stupid things hahah bye!

R

2010-03-16T00:38:00.003+08:00

Trying/

We're all living on a drug high, feeling scared to admit to our feelings, feeling scared to lose out to what people say, feeling scared that we will end up hating our guts.

Tonight I made a decision my heart will hate me for.
But I believe someday, it will all come back if it was meant to be.

Love will find us, once again, if the Gods say we could make this right.

I love you.

R

2010-03-11T02:28:00.002+08:00

I'm sure if it's all meant to be, everything will fall in place. God has a plan for all of us and I'm merely following it.

Time will tell, and will provide all the answers my heart are looking for.

I love you.
And I hope that speaks louder than anything else everyone's said.

R

(:

2010-03-09T03:11:00.002+08:00

I always feel lost. I shudder with fear when I think about what could possibly be ahead of me.

But right now everything's good, I feel at ease.
I just wished you would stay with me, for the longest time ever.

I love you, always.

R

2010-03-04T02:35:00.002+08:00

Pinch of salt/

You just gotta take everything with a pinch of salt.
Doesn't matter if it's good or bad or if it hurts or kills you, you just gotta take it with a pinch of salt. Hopefully people around you will practice some tact, hahah, damn.

Everytime I look back and think about the mistakes I make, I sigh.
Sometimes I really hate myself but then again, there is no reason, is there?
I believe that there is a plan from up above that I am following, so thus I am making these mistakes, I am learning from them and I have to live with some of the consequences. Some I could probably laugh off, but others I just have to carry for life and think hard about some decisions I make.

Today, Hoe Ming Jun surprised me with a self-made kite (fail hahah!), a box of cupcakes, he sang me a song and took my hand back. It could be a mistake I'm making but damn don't you make me upset again for the time now (: I love you. Man it's so generic right hahah.

Alright, work tomorrow and on Friday somebody quick make my day!

R

2010-03-02T01:39:00.002+08:00

I know it's hard but, man please tell me you have loved me right from the start.

Exams have been over, quite a breeze, hope I'm gonna get something out of it. Anyway I have submitted my portfolio, feeling quite a sense of accomplishment and I hope I'll get the internship hohoho. And let's hope I'll get posted to an overseas internship for my second semester hahah.

Year 2 is finally overrrrrrrr, it's abit of a bittersweet thing. I'm quite happy that it is over for good because I have died from the overloading of drama and what not, but I'm pretty sad it's ended so quickly, cus I couldn't get enough of my awesome classmates and lovely friends! Damn, but I really can't wait to hang out with everyone again hahahah, hopefully we'll get to do that soon!

Met Nic today and had a good catchup session and then met up with Jocelyn (: Super happy today, cept that I forgot my MP3 which was probably the most irritating thing to happen today! Shit thing was that I spent nearly 70+ on clothes and all today, retail therapy much but okay really made me happy hahah SHIT.

Oh damn, can't wait to work on Thursday and Friday and earn some quick cash hahah, grah.

I want you to be happy, I want to be happy, I want us to be happy.
Where's the old you?

R

2010-02-28T16:31:00.002+08:00

You can take your love away, but don't you ever leave me alone/

We kiss till we bleed
We feel so much it's killing us
We fight till were free
And he threatens to leave but won't let me
We cry till we see
Infatuations break us down
We're healing at three
We dance inside this tragedy

You and I both know it's killing us so why can't you just help make things right and put us back together. I'm still waiting, waiting for good things to happen.

Do something about it if it means so much to you.

R

2010-02-24T00:12:00.002+08:00

I'm not asking for a lot, am I? Just make things right if you meant it that way.

Love you're lurking around the corner,
but if you don't show yourself, someday I'll have to go.

R

2010-02-22T01:03:00.003+08:00

CONTAIN EVERYTHING. CONTAIN, EVERYTHING.

R

2010-02-21T21:02:00.003+08:00

Why is it that I cannot find inner peace?

Anyway I have officially lost my sanity because getting injured twice in a row is really awful. I can't walk or think properly and that feels like shit.

Actions are extremely telling of one's emotions, and expressions never fail to betray one's words.

I am now enlightened (:

R

2010-02-20T01:28:00.002+08:00

A serious man.

I can do this I can do this I can do this I can do this, it's really not that hard if I just stop mindfucking myself and get my head occupied with the right positive energy. Channel some positivity.

In any case work was good, time passed real quick, and I finally reserved a new bag for myself hehe super happy and then stupid came to stay over we nuah-ed like some big fat retards and then we headed out to window shop and catch 'A Serious Man' which I really liked! I know the movie might not make sense but the depth it has really captures my mind and heart, it's something that resonates with me very well. I liked it x1010101010, 10 stars for that!

Right, time to crack on PR before I am alllll screwed. GRAH.

R

2010-02-18T03:55:00.002+08:00

So for those of you falling in love, keep it kind, keep it good, keep it right.

Why is it that I always find myself getting back here?
Snap out of it.

An obsession with making things work and an obsession with heart and emotion is two different matters altogether.

R

2010-02-16T02:15:00.003+08:00

Chinese New Year
Day 2

Has been nothing but visiting and bumming around, pretty productive if you'd like to think of it as a Chinese fulfilling the Chinese way of making CNY an awesome celebration, but nope, not productive at all if you know my weight and what the fuck I'm supposed to be doing. I feel like stuffing a million pineapple tarts into my mouth and just never speak again. Everyone's boring me right now and the notes are killing my brains. My eyes are closing. Zzzzzz, tell me about it, I know.

Oh damn, then again, the week's gonna past so fuh-ri-gginnnn' fast that the exams are gonna be a bitch and come ram me in the damned face. Nah, not looking forward to that, absolutely not. Man I really don't know how to finish studying tho it's just for two papers... I just wanna work, get some cash and shop like a carefree soul, need new shoes (AGAIN). Can't believe I bought the smaller size for my Vans, let's just hope I'll get to exchange for a new BIGGER pair.

So today was nice, visited Grandaunt (man she really reminds me of Grandma, super, super, a lot), shopped around in Bugis and got some awesome pants from Topshop, and then babe came over today to visit my place before my family headed out to another family friend's. Quite a nice day, minus the fact that it was pretty brainless, it was rather awesome.

And great, no work tomorrow so I can forget about some productivity as well as extra cash and just think about school, then hang out with my dad and then head over to babe's friend's place.

Alright, gonna be a brainless goldfish for now. Heading to bed in 10 minutes.
By the way, my boyfriend's really quite cute when he does something lame. But the only con is he's quite a douchebag and maybe another one is that he farts a lot.

R

2010-02-15T02:08:00.003+08:00

How could I?

Today's CNY and Vday, pure coincidence or just lame, I don't know how you think about it but in any case, both days hold equal value to me, it's just the the family comes first so thus. It was good stuffing myself with all that junk but that will mean super a lot of training/running and what not to do when the holidays are over and I've definitely lost my mood for revision damnit! Save me please.

Ice hockey is calling out to me, I'm thinking of Friday night classes but I think I'd be bummed out and fucking busy when the new school term starts. Now I'm not even thinking of taking up the internship before I just wanna focus on sports and things I like to do bigggg time hahah damn. By the way, 200 pounds beauty is some damn awesome movie I was super touched by it, true love is hard to come by man!

Guess I was wrong about being all strong and independent and what not, maybe I am but somewhere deep down inside, I kindda figured that once you make a commitment to another party, everything changes.

I thought I was at my peak when everything came to me, but who would have known that I'd turn out to be just the way they thought it out to be. I'm not Superwoman, I think I've tried but just look at me, I'm nobody, I'm just somebody trying to take her chance at every opportunity she can get to make everything go. At least now I know everything's just going to be okay.

Oh what the fuck, God damnit, don't you get it? I've fallen in love yet again with someone who always has a way of turning the tides around to make things better even when it hurts so fucking bad. I'm sorry I've been way too insecure for a bit, but it only happens when it comes to something or someone that matters the most to me.

And for the record, you're a part of it.
Happy Valentines' baby, what am I without you, really?
Thankyou for the present on its way (:

We'll find each other and put everything back in place even if things don't go our way.
I love you.

R

2010-02-14T01:49:00.003+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year folks!
Hope you're having a great awesome time collecting all that hongbaos hahah damn.

And yes, Happy Valentines' too! Love you douchebag hahah.

Guess I'm not feeling too good today.

R

2010-02-13T00:27:00.002+08:00

Goodbye Neverland!

Super full super full super full super full and all I wanna do is to hug HoeMingJun to sleeeeep and wake up feeling like the morning's too awesome to be in. Oh I love you c:
So today was the end of babe's papers, like finally! And then we went out shopping and all, both of us got a brand new pair of Vans each hehe :D Manhattan Fish Market was definitely damn good and yez, seriously damn full.

Anyway, thankyou Jocelyn for coming over today, had a great time just anyhow whacking and baking cookies hehe c: You better love it ok HMINGJ!

Can't wait for everything to be truly over. Exams are in a week and I hope I'll be able to revise, stay focused and just do workkkkk. The pay is calling meeee! <: Oh and so is Automatic Loveletter, serious shit! :D

Alright, HIMYM and a one page revision hehe.

R

2010-02-08T23:15:00.002+08:00

The day that saved us/

Everyone will probably laugh at me for reading my chat logs but I guess it makes me happy because I see the awesome side of everything else when I do that. It makes me feel like there is still one side to people that is just inaccessible for awhile, and someday it'll all just get better. That someday, we'll find it all back and make things work.

You always make everything better, be it a hug or a peck on the cheek; you do that in an instant.
11:11 may have passed, but I wished you'd just realize that.

I wished you'd keep trying.

R

2010-02-08T01:36:00.003+08:00

"Is this the start of it?
Has this become a part of it?
Maybe we should've slowed down.
It was the taste of it,
and this is how we wasted it,
maybe we'll get it back somehow."
- The Start Of It by Meese

"Tell me either way, I know you know I never let this go."

Aaaaaah, the sound of awesome tunes and feeling like I'm dancing on my toes in mid-air, hmmmmm. It's like a kind of epiphany, a sudden realization, and then the air froze, your mind slows down, your eyes shut and then you forget about life, love and everything else that goes along with it. And then, you wake to a sudden silence as the world starts to cave in and you get shut in your little dark room.

There, I don't know what to do now. I think I just locked myself in there.
All I can do is wait. And wait for the day I start to believe and feel like it's all going to be okay.

My back is hurting like crap man. Played abit of ball just now and I can't seem to move around too much or it'd start hurting and I feel very irritated everytime I feel that little shizz in the way damn. Ugh hate myself for being so careless now ): Ugh! Okay, I'm done with one part of radio. Someone please just tell me it's going to be fine.

So will it get better?
Fuck yeah, it better!

R

2010-02-07T02:59:00.002+08:00

Just one more week,
and it'll all be over.

Well you could hold on if you feel like letting go. Good Charlotte hahah damn, oh boy.
In any case, I have been trying to be productive but instead of being 100% today I only gave 30%. But today was nice, had reunion dinner with fam friends and all, good catch up session hehe. Really enjoyed myself and yes, agreed with Cherine, I miss going to Malaysia and spamming the food and shopping hahah awesome times! (: And yes, awesome day because I got two new tops and a dress from Topshop c: Okay tomorrow I'm going to visit Grandma's thingum to pay respsects to her before CNY kicks in! Sounds like a nice plan!

Alright, I am stronger than ever.
Love you fatty @hmingj c:

R

2010-02-06T02:04:00.002+08:00

Running, running.

I think patience is key to easing the uncertainty and insecurity.
Soon, the day will come.

Today = Crazy shen jing bing deadline day and I bet everyone's probably too caught up with their celebration for the day or just having a short getaway and then we all will start hating ourselves for procrastinating for the presentation/ test whatever ahahah damn.
Anyway I can't wait to get past next Wednesday and make my time worth c: And yes, my Power 98 slot's gonna be on the 27th, sounds exciting, minus the prep work!
Now let's just hope I'll get a Thursday slot for work at Soon Lee and then Friday will be good! Hehe, can't wait for babe to finish his exams and all.

Love, you never fail to keep me going.

R

Heads up

2010-02-05T03:48:00.002+08:00

Stay in sync:

I've been trying all possible means and ways to keep this going.
Stay strong.

Breathe.

R

2010-02-04T01:56:00.002+08:00

Don't let me go.
Because I will never tell it to your face that I was stupid, and now I know I never want this to ever end.

I'll always love you.

R

2010-02-03T17:50:00.001+08:00

It's hurting you but it's killing me.

I can't do this alone.

R

2010-02-03T02:07:00.001+08:00

REASSURANCE
The act of or a statement removing someone's doubts or fears.

R

2010-02-02T23:22:00.002+08:00

What would you say if I,
Told you that I'm not giving up.
However long it takes,
It's clear that things have changed.
Since when we started,
But we can't just walk away babe.

So I am telling you that,
I know, things aren't quite like what they used to be.
Different places, different faces, yeah,
We can try, oh yeah, we could try.

R

2010-02-01T19:24:00.007+08:00

Tell me where you are, and I'll find you
Tell me what it takes to see this through,
Tell me what it takes to get to you,
And I'll be there waiting

I miss you @hmingj

I'll be yours and you'll be

2010-02-01T02:01:00.004+08:00

Toothpaste Kisses/

Cradle me, I'll cradle you
I'll win your heart with a woop-a-woo
Pulling shapes just for your eyes

So with toothpaste kisses and lines
I'll be yours and you'll be

Lay with me, I'll lay with you
We'll do the things that lovers do
Put the stars in our eyes

And with heart shaped bruises
And late night kisses
Divine

The past week has been one hell of a emotional roller coaster ride, but I'm glad it is now over, well I don't know if it truly is because anything can happen at any time, but for now, we're gonna make it work c: It's okay to hit the restart button, 'cus what matters is we're all willing to try. You still have my heart. I love you stupid!

School = plain annoying, basketball = a drag. Dang.
Injured my tailbone, not cool anymore :c I just hope I recover and get back to hopping around like an idiot sooooon! Can't be training this week so I think I'm just gonna settle for doing more school work and some lame/ light exercises at homeeee.

Can't wait for the holidays! Goodnight!

Lylt c:

R

Hiatus

2010-01-28T15:43:00.002+08:00

Glad to be taking a break from all that Flash and Word docs! Have been doing nothing but just stupid projects and assignments, I really feel like stabbing myself sometimes but it's the last lap and we're almost done with this shit.

Anyway, right now is CommIss class, debate is really lame hahah, everyone's just going okay, yes, right, whatever HAHAHAH. I think the topic is good but it's just that everyone's too busy with other modules to do proper research man hahahah!

Ok, close to one week of not blogging, and I feel like I don't really know what to blog about. Have been tweeeetinggggg alot and that helps relieve some stress, yes it's my venting machine and sometimes I miss @hmingj alot but I only get to see him once a week! Not cool hahahah!
And speaking of which, yay to me I got selected for the Power 98 show, ok fine it's not THAT a big deal but it is to me (: So happy I managed to get the chance, nice for my portfolio hehe :D

Alright, more another time! Seeeeeeee you!
6.30pm, later <:

R

2010-01-22T02:10:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow's gonna be a reaaaallllyyyy long day.

I can't wait for better times to come along.
Oh now what should I wear tomorrow? Hmmmmmm.

Ok, practice and then sleep sleep. Done with my errands for the day :D

R

2010-01-21T16:25:00.001+08:00

It

gets

tiring

to

just

try.

So I think I will stop. Good day, shall be heading down for th boys' match and then make an effort to finish some work. Work = priority and it ends there.

R

2010-01-21T01:42:00.002+08:00

Is it better?

Is it better if we make it better than before, because I constantly question myself, will we get better if we try to be better all the time and I think about how much better everything could be if we just better ourselves. So what's the deal now?

I am rather tired right now I am half dead, trying to photoshop some nonsense, tho it isn't too much of a progress but I just want to make sure I get the better shit done so I have no regrets doing my part for the damned project. Progress is slow for me right now, in all aspects, but I am pretty damn sure I'm gonna pick up the pace and make it work, just you wait and see. Really hope I do and not crash in the midst of everything. Can't wait for killer week to be over and start working already!

In any case, I can't wait to see @hmingj sooooon again! I haven't seen him since last Friday (talk about lovesick seriously I am sounding like a needy bitch hahah damn) but we are all drowning in work and what not! Grah!

Ahhhh sleep in about 10 minutes, sounds good after the crazy lack of sleep!

R

2010-01-19T14:21:00.003+08:00

Is it so hard?

There are some things that doesn't need to be said.
I'm sorry I'm not as awesome looking or cool just like the other girls but the thing is, I'm still a girl.

Alright, 'nuff said.

Ahhhhh school is taking a toll on me, and so many things are starting to cave in, I've lost my mood for the day and this auditioning for Got Talent is starting to make my eyes roll automatically. I just want to be playing basketball, how I wished we made it to the Top 4. Damn.

R

2010-01-17T17:50:00.002+08:00

I realized that there is going to be so much more to juggle, that I might be losing my head for this week, can't think of what I want to do or need to attend to. Damn what is it now?

Now I am afraid that I'd get hired and the boss would hate me. Tell me how now.

Need to breathe and get cracking.

R

Second chances

2010-01-16T23:18:00.003+08:00

14152.) It's hard for me to be committed because I always worry that I'll miss out when something better comes along.

That used to be the case two years ago. But I realized it's okay to let things be and then make the best out of it, because for all you know, this might just be it c:

Love!

R

2010-01-16T18:20:00.002+08:00

14301.) I prayed last night, because I have no other solution.

I don't know what to do right now, I've been too tired and I just wished I could step into a state of mind where I can stop taking people for what they say literally. I need to start getting myself right, need to start facing up to the things I cannot face up to and tackle them.

I could start. Somewhere, somehow, if I had the time.

Hmmmm, babe talked about being in the US for a month for ABA, sounds awesome if it'd be confirmed. Now I secretly wished I had a chance like that hahahah, zomg jealous much ok hahah!

Good to know that the Ngee Ann girls are getting it tight and keeping it strong, love all of you (: I've waited 2 years for this to happen, and now that we've finally worked towards it, we're only going to make it better! Okay guys, I'm this close to completing the damned story, so I should just run along and e-mail it over now.

R

Never the end

2010-01-16T01:51:00.003+08:00

We might have lost, but we emerged winners (:

You girls are kickass and awesome, love! :D And I will miss Tina and Meining alot ok!
Jiayou Team NP, we are going to show a little something someday, I have faith and shall stay and fight alongside all of you when we bring the house down (: I love all of you!
Jiayou guys for your semi-finals ok :D

WE ARE GOING TO PWN (:

Stayover with babe was good, turned my day around tho he was pretty annoying half the time ahah, retarded. Love you much and miss you already hahah! Alt alt alt alt weekends (:
Alright, time to conquer featurewriting and pwn the job interview tmr!

R

Too tired

2010-01-14T18:28:00.002+08:00

I am so stuck over the crazy amount of shit we all have to do right now, and put that along with some basketball and just people, and I am one dying man. Damn. Tired ballz but I totally kicked PR's asssssss. The period is making me mooooody.

It's not cool to rub it in, it's probably the last thing I want to be knowing or hearing.

R

Oh-woah

2010-01-14T02:19:00.002+08:00

Feels like a Sunday all over again,

We lost the match today, that sucks but nevermind we tried! But really, it isn't the end of everything. We will come back stronger next year, build it up and make it work soon (: Love all you girls!

Thought I finally calmed myself down and all during the match already, well it's better than the previous two matches I think. Long way to gooooo. Caught babe's match and him in action too hahahah, he like retarded only ok. Luv you hun! Macdonalds is one bitch make me fat with twister fries hahah and Huishi and I ran like crazy together to take the bus home because we missed the train. So glad to see her and Shen Li around for every match to cheer us on, I love you FTM c:

The past few days have been taxing with the crazy lack of sleep that I was late for class this morning (as usual). The only different thing's probably gonna be having myself on the debarment list damn. Web D has been nothing but disappointing but seriously, it's just crazy.

Gotta be working on Flash like crazy over the weekend, sigh, I better be able to deliver some stuff by Sunday or else it's really quite screwed over hmmmm.

Can someone tell me it's okay to pretend my life isn't over yet gagggg now!

Alright, Paramore tix please FLY TO ME LAH CB.

R

Closure

2010-01-12T23:56:00.003+08:00

We all need closure.

I'm not a superhero either, we're all facing the same shit.

R

2010-01-11T17:04:00.002+08:00

You and me could write a bad romance/

Been so tired the whole day cus I didn't sleep well last night. Kept fidgeting in bed but babe was sound asleep cus he totally KO-ed, not cool. I swear to God this feeling is shit and it isn't helping that there's a match later damn, totally not feeling this at all. Sir very cute, sms all the KX girls in IVP goodluck against each other because today is NP vs RP (Del and I are under NP and Rinna and Fel are under RP) hahah damn! NP better win tonight or we can jolly well forget about getting into the Top 4 alr ): Jiayou girls!

Anyway I'm still quite like O.O that I'm gonna be joining FMS Got Talent with Wan and all hahah quite a joke but seriously! WTF. FMS Got Talent?! HAAHAHHAH, never even thought I'd be in it okay damn and now I'm in it shitniz.

Overall, great weekend and all, and yes CHUA MINPEI IS 19 ALREADY, SO OLD LEH SOMEONE HAHAHAH C: Better not be so retarded already ah! Hahahah, luv you, no no no cannot, later I get whacked by your gf hahahahh! Ok see you soon!

Right, I shall tryyyyy to do work or maybe HIMYM or just sleep lah damn.

R

Here's the story you might want to know

2010-01-09T00:51:00.003+08:00

Why basketball means the world to me.

I am one hell of a crazed basketball piece of shiat and honestly, I am happy being at it. Maybe you'd just think I'm foolish but I think I just appreciate it way too much to pretend I'm not excited about it.

I started late, so that makes me an underdog, I knew nothing about it, I was like one stupid person in the loser corner of a court. In fact, I gave up table tennis for this when I could have done better. I could have continued and done so much better than I could have here. And it sucks giving up those glory days where the team respected you and you were always given a chance to represent the school. But I gave that up, and it really hurts to suddenly become a nobody.

Around me, there were people who were at the top of the ladder and sure it feels odd to know nothing that the others talked about. I felt like nothing in that whole equation; we were worlds apart. But I hoped to be in that same world, to be in the same league, so maybe I'd be taken a little more seriously and I could fight away all the inferiority.

And sure I did, the chance rolled along for me in poly and I tried to work towards it. I am definitely not the best player, not in the main five either, and maybe my skills don't even permit me to have a place in a team like that but I really want to work my ass off to make sure I don't end up being a burden.

So watching a moment like the guys winning ITE today made my heart sing, it beats any other feeling, we trained so much for this and now it is finally paying off. And understanding the emotions and state of minds of your other team mates just heightens your whole experience. I might not be a guy, but really I've seen the way these guys train to make sure they get this right and it is finally paying off.

Last year we might have fallen, but this year, we work as one to make things work. It is a big moment of triumph for the team; it is like watching a moment you have never had in your life. You finally feel like you belong somewhere and achieved something as an entity, that you were once an underdog but now you have a team to call your own, you have others that will lend you a hand and understand you, and cheer you on. That you have people that look past your stupidest moments and give you a chance to shine.

It's just how the feeling of inferiority starts to fade a little that makes all of this a winning moment. I think I've managed to attain nirvana in this field. And it's too good a feeling, too nice a satisfaction from all the blood, sweat and tears to pretend I don't care, because hell yeah I do.

Oh here comes Monday, we better make it through and perform another feat, and I'm pretty sure we are quite capable of it. Go girls!

Anyway, I'm really tired but I am damn damn stoked that NP is finally coming together. Working and training for almost two years to watch this moment in transit is really something, I am feeling it! Today spelt submissions and another brain cell eating day as I storm for ideas for my story. Damn. Save me now.

I really like surprises so why won't you surprise me?
Come Monday, I think the biggest surprise gotta be the win, hmmm.

R

2010-01-08T13:38:00.003+08:00

Me + you = Fidelity

We may not be too awesome of a couple, may not be too couply like other couples are.
We may not appear to be too concerned, we may not have the best days some times.
We may misunderstand one another, and we may disappoint.
But what matters is we keep trying to make the wrongs right.

Because two wrongs don't make a right, two hearts cannot intertwine if we don't make it try.
I love you too, too much to even think about screwing this up ever again.

Hahah, ok very cheesy.

Oh and speaking of which, Jarrel T suddenly skype messaged me saying that he hates me because he said he found out about Miami Ad school all thanks to me and it's my fault now because it hurts so so so much because going to Miami Ad School is some huge ass deal but the fees are a bomb ): Okay that hurt me too ahah. 6K/ quarter is no joke I better stop being so retarded. I should just settle for NTU if I can make it to the local U.

Anyway, I am excited for the match later (: Can't wait for the results and hope that the boys can perform yet another miracle, no no, feat! Hahahah, very happy about the double win and hope we can all proceed to Top 4 together seriously hahah. Secretly hope that babe will decide to wake up and change his mind about not heading down but I doubt it hahah.

We are going to war, and we are going to win! Go Team NP (:

R

2010-01-08T03:56:00.003+08:00

Okay guys, fuck yeah done with work and it's 4am in the morning and I am gonna kick some butt and record my audition for the Power 98 shizz. Better nail it so I get to include that in my portfolio! Pretty exciting stuff hahah (:

Babe was a retard today always force me to not sleeeeep and then he slept abit on the way back! Tsk. And very happy that Tan Shen Li and yes, my very fav FTM Jiang Hui Shi came down (: Awesome day for me hehe.

In any case, absolute case of double happiness for Team NP boys and girls! (: (: (:
Yay, NPBBGT won today! VERY VERY HAPPY OK! Managed to clock some time just doing plain defence hahah. We are awesome and we are pwning some asses >:D Super excited and ready to fight it all out for the next three matches. Jiayou! :DDDDDD

Tomorrow's gonna be the deciding match for the guys, there better be a miracle, I want them to win ITE so so so badly man! Damn! Hahah, alright time to focus.

R

2010-01-07T13:45:00.001+08:00

Every single bit worth it.

I have been listening to Saosin too (rather disturbing), it's quite weird that I've been listening to stuff like that recently, but okay, works hahah. Been so worn out these days I lost my mood to do quite a bit of stuff but I guess it's all going to turn around.

I know I haven't been the best girlfriend on earth but you know we could always look past all of the bad stuff and make it work. I don't want us to be a mistake, I want to turn that around, I want us to make it work, I want us to rectify the problem and make it work. That could only mean that we care enough to want it to work and love each other enough to want things to be better than before. Love you babe.

Today is day 1 at war, go Team NP girls (: We are going to do some pwnage and own the halls, I hope hahah. Go babe for your game later too, I shall be watching! Hahahah.

R

Hmmmmmm

2010-01-06T13:45:00.003+08:00

I feel like that every time you say something that hurts.

I have been spending most of my time on my bus rides either sleeping or reflecting on how my emotions are growing. Oh and I do that before my meals and I tend to overeat, have been on it for a week or so already. Maybe it's the holiday pounds, maybe it's just me, and maybe because my period is coming.

Truth is, I really don't know, I really don't. I'm not sure of whatever I'm doing right now I just want to be over with school and have a week doing things I want, not have to do. It gets very tiring, and it really kills me on the inside.

What kills me even more is that I feel like I'm a train wreck and all I can see myself becoming is bursting into a fit of crazed emotions before finally settling into a state of nothingness. It's starting to cave in a little, I'm feeling slightly empty from within, and well I can't tell what it is because I've yet to figure out the things I'm at, but it's worth a try, it's worth a try.

All I can picture right now is a calm sea in a raging storm, sure it sounds ironic but really, those waves aren't moving.
I wished I understood what true desire really meant.

R

2010-01-03T21:44:00.002+08:00

Will you please just see things in my point of view?

I am very tired of trying.

R

2010-01-03T17:03:00.002+08:00

Saw this off Sam's and Denise's tumblr and thought I'd like to do something like that too. And it's with reference to 2009, I can't possibly have accomplished much within 3 days of 2010 hahah damn. Ok, here goes.

THIS YEAR (2009) I’VE…

stayed single
got your first kiss (of the year HAHAH, haven't been kissed in almost 3 years)
kissed someone new
made out for the first time (of the year, neither have I done so with someone in almost 3 years)
made out in a car
kissed in the snow
kissed in the rain
fell in love
fell in love with a fool
had your heart broken
broke someone else’s heart
had a stalker
had a good relationship with someone
got head
questioned your sexual orientation
came out of the closet
gotten pregnant
gotten someone else pregnant
had an abortion
gotten married
had a divorce
had a gay marriage
kissed someone of the same sex
dated someone you’ll never forget
done something you’ve regretted
lost your true love forever
lost faith in love
kissed under mistletoe

WORK/SCHOOL
got a promotion
got a pay raise
changed jobs
lost your job
quit your job
dated a co-worker
dated your boss
dated your boss’ daughter/son
got fired from your job
got straight A’s
met one teacher you really like
met one teacher you really hated
found the subject you love
failed a class
cut class
skipped school
got into a fight with a classmate
did something you were proud of
discovered a new talent
gave the teachers a reason to teach
proved yourself an idiot
embarrassed yourself in front of the class
fell in love with a teacher
got a part in the school play
made a varsity team
were involved in something you’ll never forget

OTHER
painted a picture
wrote a poem
ran a mile
listened to music you couldn’t stand
double-dipped (food HAHAH)
skinny-dipped
went to a sleepover
went to camp
threw a surprise party
laughed till you cried
flirted shamelessly
visited a foreign country
visited a foreign state
cooked a disastrous meal
lost something (someone) important to you
got a gift you adore
realized something new about yourself
went on a diet
tried to gain weight
dyed your hair
came close to losing your life
someone close to you died
reunited with a friend
made an accomplishment that shocked everyone
realized your truest friends
told a secret that would ruin your life if revealed
threw a wild party
went to a wild party
drank alcohol
drank alcohol underage
did drugs
got drunk (dude wtf)
got arrested
read a great book
saw a great movie
saw a movie so scary that it made you cry
saw your favorite band/artist live
saw someone famous in person
did something you want to tell everyone
enjoyed this year so far. (even though there were pretty disappointing moments)

Hahahah, shitniz I really ought to be doing my work instead of blogging away but the blogging tendency always kicks in when I am bored daaaamn. Save me please! In any case, it sucks knowing that the period's coming soon because damn, there's IVP next week! Grah, ohwell, just gotta make it all work for me.

Anyway, side tracking for a bit, I am so annoyed at how everyone's 'reblogging' all their fav shitz hahahah, but I kindda can't bear to leave this space, pretty attached to it heh. Alright, that's just really random.

Now, now, I better continue being productive or I can forget about sleeping properly next week with the hectic schedule ugh. Good day to you! Be back later!

R

2010-01-02T23:39:00.003+08:00

I like surprises, a lot.

I've been thinking about what is it that I truly like and I've figured that it's got to be spontaneity and the thrill of having or getting something or into a process I've never been at. I really like the randomness of it all, it amazes me. To sum that all up I really like having surprises thrown in my face all the time. Pretty much the reason why I loved my birthday so much.

In any case, it's been training for the whole day and I am pretty stoned now. Really exhausted from the crazy amount of sprinting to do around the court but I guess I can't say much for now because I am so friggin' slow ): Oh well, gotta amp it up next week grah, it's IVP already damn! Dinner was awesome and so are my team mates and my very lame coach HAHAHAH. Kendi is really one big fat joker ok hahahah! Headed home only to realize I'm running a fever. Which pretty sucks, oh God.

You know I'm getting pretty sick of all of this around me right now. And I'm starting to second think all of my decisions and it sucks to know that you're probably just settling for something because I really don't want to.

Good day.
R

2010-01-02T03:51:00.003+08:00

I don't know why I can never be satisfied with what I have or accomplish.

It's getting scary.

Maybe I over amplify all the time.
But I have one million expectations and ambitions, and no one is ever going to bring me down. No, really, I mean no one. So don't even try.

R

2010-01-02T00:34:00.003+08:00

It's funny how everything starts to hit you when you realize it doesn't matter.
So I'm trying to laugh right here and think about what I have actually done but I think I've done my bit so I will stop thinking.

You know why I decided to stop caring?
Because everything ended up a mess the way it was and then it just keeps getting bigger and bigger. I think I stomached too much disappointment from what all of you put me through. I was subjected to being a subject in your lives. Maybe it's just me or maybe karma's being a real bitch but y'know what? I think I don't deserve this at all so that's why I left. I feel so superficial right now when I want to try. Because honestly, some part of me really wants to but I know better than to because this huge mess right in front of me can only get bigger.

I am so tired of what you people have to say before you can take a look at the big picture and think back about what you have said or done to make this mess work. I really hate myself for making all of you and that stupid mess a part of my 2009 but fuck that we're over with it.

On a side note, here's my New Year with Hmingj. Awesome times because I am not upset, luv you babe!

I am happy today and will be happy forever.
Long live the pretenders, fuck yeah.
R

Happy Nu Year

2010-01-01T16:30:00.002+08:00

Two is better than one,

Happy 2010 yall! Hope you're having a rocking time out thereeeeeee.
In any case, 2009 is now truly over, think I am feeling quite relieved that it is because it feels like I just threw away a lame year away from my life and I can not think about it at all. Last year was filled with a lot of food for thought and memories but it's really over now. I don't have to think about all the angry/sad/annoying moments in life, only happy times.

I'm starting the new year in the most awesome fashion and I'm gonna end the year on a good note and make things work, not just whine and complain about the unhappy things in life. I am going to take everything with a pinch of salt and get school over and done with.

Looking back, there were only lots of struggling and getting upset with people, but there were still moments of joy that turned those shitty days around. Hmmmmm. I remember how I welcomed the new academic year with open arms, but now that I'm three-quarters done with this shit I'm starting to see so much more. Oh well. Anyway, MCM is really one helluva bitch but I guess some part of me will still miss all the nonsense it threw in my face.

Okay so I caught Old Dogs and Avatar to kick start the new year with Awesome c:
Old Dogs was reaaallll cute hehe and Avatar was really some awesome okkkkk I loved the whole concept and thought it was really perfect, just a little draggy in the middle but other than that woooahhh! Hahah I was annoyed + moody on the last day of 2009 but you know what, it's good to forget all about it and start everything all over again.

I will only be happy. And I'm gonna make it work.

R

I'm a H-h-H-h-H-h-H-Hearrrrttttbreaaker

2009-12-30T04:41:00.002+08:00

Black Swan/

Been listening to quite alot of Story Of The Year and am not really going to settle too much for it before I start to convert too much towards another genre hahah damn. Aaaaaah I'm just super zoned out right now from the lack of sleep. It's been sleeping at 5 and waking at 10 the next morning for the past two days already. Damnit, I hate work fuck work and nope I'm not making very good progress either. Need to make sure I finish my e-newsletter and FA3 and start working on Flash or my group will stab me grah.

Aaaaaah, think I will not play ball until I am free from MCM, damnit. No sleep for the whole week zzzzzz. Think my period's gonna kick in next week, feels like shit, my stomach hurts now damnit.

Anyway, yesterday was good, I love you hmingj and celebrated abit for Sonia's 18th. Today was just plain tiring because I was so so so worn out from yesterday, didn't get anything right at KX training today and was zoning out half the time. Oh well. Dinner with Cupcake buddy was nice, OYSTER OMELETTE WIN hahahahahahah! iPhone game apps are cute, I think I will get an iTouch if all else fails. And yay, helped completed babe's radio commercial already.

Okay really, sleep. Project meetings x2 tomorrow zzzzzzzz.

R

2009-12-28T01:20:00.003+08:00

I just want to feel important on some days. I don't want anything else, no need for the expensive gifts and what not, I just want to feel important. Like someone misses me or wants me for just a day out of the seven, no not need me, but want me. Being appreciated means the whole damned world to me.

Hmmmmmmmmmm, I am feeling at ease and in peace and harmony with my surroundings as Straylight Run plays on my iTunes. So I've got wwo new awesome shirts and some good indian food with Dad. Been trying to complete some work and only nailed my radio dalet script, better get it right in the studio tomorrow. Got to get my mind in sync for tomorrow's training + friendly. In any case, Happy birthday Sonia! Have an awesome time!

Goodbye.

R

2009-12-26T12:13:00.003+08:00

One last time, before you go

I am finally awaken after a good 7 hour knockout, been stressing over work but doing nothing about it but I guess I made a start last night and everything's been falling in place pretty nicely so I guess there's nothing much to fuss about 'cept to really get started. So I will continue with my stupid seasonal and start on the Postbox article since I managed to nail an e-mail interview already. Damn.

Last night was awesome, met with Cupcake buddy for some catching up awwwww (: Thanks lah ok what first friend on X'mas, full of shit only but ok, much appreciated! Thanksssss for offering tix to watch Paramore ok hahah but nope. Thanks lah ok thanks lah stupid buddy :D

I will not condone to stupid factors to bring me down, I am happy, need to stop thinking about what the future holds because everything's uncertain as long as we're not in it. I am happy and I want to be able to appreciate the things and people around me. Really.

Ok KX training later since NP one's canceled. Gotta get all my gear right. Bye!

R

2009-12-25T20:24:00.002+08:00

13526.) im afraid we'll fall apart (via blogsecret)

It's Christmas, we are now two months into our relationship. I woke up next to you and then you turned around to give me a big hug. It feels wonderful; I've got you with me and we're gonna be awesome the way we are. And waking up next to you? It's priceless. I don't think there are words I could use to describe us but I like the way we are. Maybe we forgo quite a bit of the sweet talk and texts, hand holding and what not, but I like the way you are, so I'm scared you will leave some day. I don't want you to leave.
I don't ever want you to leave.

So I don't want to hide it from you and wait until it's all too late I like you I like you I like you so so so much I don't know how to really show it and nope I won't leave until time tells me to or unless you're a jerk.
I wish you'd prove me wrong. And really, in ten years we're gonna look back at all the silly things we do, especially how we met and laugh like never before.

13554.) I'll wait forever for you.

Anyway, Merry Christmas to all, I hope everyone's having an awesome time! And yes, thank you baby so so so much for the awesome Portage already in use and everything! My Christmas is simple, so right now it's 8.46 pm and I've already spent 3/4 of the day doing normal stuff, yes, normal but happy stuff c:

Last night was Christmas eve, so Babe and I headed out with Serene and Jason for dinner c: Epicurious was closed and we died after a long long long walk around Robertson Quay, so I bet everyone was damn disappointed but Billy Bombers made up for it, we had an awesome meal! Really nice to be around people you love hehe. Fort Canning for abit and headed to Babe's place to get his stuff before crashing my place for some HIMYM hehe. Slept in and HIMYM to kill some time before I headed out with my Dad for some grocery shopping and Astons heh :D Fat or what but it's okay I'm having an awesome time!

Love! (:

R

2009-12-24T02:42:00.002+08:00

Omg I haven't caught up but, I cried like crazy, really crazy watching this.

I got too much emotion rushing through my head. And only questions fill up my mind now.

R

2009-12-24T01:44:00.002+08:00

Happy X'mas Eve yall!

It's been basketball again and then seeing hmingj after a good two days. Yay we made it past the second month. Anyway I'm so tired I don't even want to think about work now. Need to unload some stuff out of my head and stop thinking.

Okay new colors for braces tomorrow.
Goodnight!

R

2009-12-23T00:02:00.002+08:00

We can stay in love, forever.

Hello! I've been too bored stuck out at home and trying to do work, fail moment much. Graaah.
Been occupied with basketball for the first two days of the holidays and then tomorrow's NP training again. I'm super tired and am feeling the after effects of Monday's training with too many footwork movements and then the friendly match today blahblah.

Okay seriously I need to at least finish up the flash intro by Friday and then think of a story idea for my FA3 and design for my e-newsletter. Lots more to do but whatever, sometimes we just gotta finish up a milestone first before achieving bigger things. Hmmmmm.

Ohwell, very tired, think I shall wake up early tomorrow morning to start on work. Totally out of focus today. Hopefully I will not procrastinate. Yes, not funny.

And yay tomorrow is Wednesday! That means someone's gonna be back from bball camp c:
New braces colour on Thursday hehe. Baby blue and pink teehee ok bye!

R

2009-12-21T02:52:00.002+08:00

Oh FuckYeahLights! c:

In any case, the flu is pretty much pissing me off and I am really unproductive. Fml I am so screwed, I don't really want to get down to work but damn, it's all projects and what not. Individual work's starting to pile up too damn. Better focus during the holidays.

And Closure in Moscow was pretty good. Wasn't really planning on getting down to Scape for it but I changed my mind and headed down with babe. Saw Cupcake buddy! :D We shall have an outing soon and have some dessert hehe. OH AND OYSTER OMELETTE HAHAHAH!
Laid my hands on some new clothes hehe and yay get to wear it soon. No more fuck ups with washing hehe! :D By th way, have I mentioned how annoyed I was?! I was so hyped about getting a pair of high cuts from Macbeth but damn no size :/ And shipping would be quite a killer. How spoiler ok! Oh well. Shall head down to Image soon to check out the Macbeths zzzzzzz.

Ok NP training tomorrow, think it'd be awesome because the turn out's gonna be pretty good (: And JIAYOU KX sorry I can't turn up for the ITE friendly because of training but hope you girls will do well (: Jiayou!

Righttttt, I swear I will start on my featurewriting individual assignement.
Oh oh, and babe's gonna be away at camp from tomorrow til Wednesday (I still lose to soccer damnit), so is Cupcake friend and Jocelyn love because they are gonna be going to Genting. Hmmmmm. Ok I will miss everyone, please take care! Love!

R

(:

2009-12-20T12:20:00.002+08:00

I AM HAPPY! MY FEVER IS GONE c: c: c: c: c:
Okay hiiiiii people of the Earth, a little bit of flu can't catch me hehe, I'm just gonna have a good time and get tanned now and come home to work like some dog. Oh and maybe get my stuff and head out for a pedicure hehe. I am awesome like that so take that you bitchezzzzz heh.

Nothing's gonna bring me down. No, not even you! HAHAH ok kidding. Down to the pool, ok bye!

R

hIIIIIIIIII

2009-12-20T00:59:00.002+08:00

Hello hello I am back from a day of training and meeting babe for dinner once again!
Gave KX dinner a miss cus I didn't wanna catch a movie, wanted to start on my Flash but fuck I am getting a mild fever. And I feasted on the Subway cookies hmingj got me hoho. Awesome.

Carried my new bag out today! Feeling good about it hehe why so cool c:
Anyway training was pretty okay today, just abit tired I guess. Felt like sleeping throughout the whole day. Guess I was just too too tired. And my knee is starting to be a bitch ugh idk why.
Had porridge for dinner at Tampines and headed home after that, graaaah. Gotta sleep soon so tired okkkkk shitniz.

Anyway, have I mentioned I got cool friends hahahah. No, irritating friends HAHAHAH!
Denise you are damn win lah.
AstRylnaut!★ says: (1:05:03 AM)
I wna get eh damn nice LOL th topman one!
Denise! says: (1:05:18 AM)
Why you buying MAN clothes.
AstRylnaut!★ says: (1:05:36 AM)
because I like th design! look at th female one all like PUI
Denise! says: (1:06:23 AM)
Don't anyhow spit la, no wonder your mac so gross
Denise! says: (1:06:25 AM)
Eeee.
Denise! says: (1:06:35 AM)
Buy you dettol sanitizer for christmas.

WTF RIGHT, what a conversation but I still bother to reply hahahahah ok love you bitch.

Okay guys, time to retreat into my crib hehe BYE. I promise I will start doing work tomorrow. Aaaaahhh need to get rid of this can't be fucked about work attitude. Can't wait for X'mas and pretend none of it ever existed. Bye.

R

So turned into

2009-12-19T02:38:00.002+08:00

Tokyo Police Club: Nature of the Experiment

Woah FuckYeahLights! I need her awesome hair hahah!

Ok guys, I am feeling like a half-fucked kid, like a shitniz good-for-nothing because I am seriously unmotivated to start on work and I just want to get the crap on with fun and one session of Mambo to mark the end of 2009.

Right, this year marked the end of a sad and miserable loss for me with the demise of my Grandmother and learning to love and lose people, taking shit in my stride and learning from my mistakes and having karma get rubbed in my damned face. This year was an emotional roller coaster ride, especially when it comes to the passion of my life, because no matter how much I train and try, I don't seem to nail it. In fact I'm starting to doubt my capabilities in basketball, it seems like I'm an incompetent bitch and I can never get my time at all, damn.

But as the saying goes, what doesn't kills you only makes you stronger. And yes, very cliche but true, it always does.

So this year marked the start of something. Things I really appreciate. I got into a basketball club, which I've kindda secretly been rooting for damn long. And now I got it and I can play my first youth cup (HAHAH, omg I swear I wished I was in it when I just started out so nevermind I get a shot at trying now). Looking back at all my stupid time with the sport in secondary school really makes me laugh, but I guess it's all worth it!

And yes, meeting someone awesome, like why I decided to run a marathon and bump into hmingj and started getting everything back in place again. I love you babe! c: And how we gave each other awesome advanced x'mas gifts in advanced, exact same style hahah. I love you ok thankyou for waiting for me to end my training so you can surprise me with a Portage c: Sorry I couldn't show my excited face cus I was so drained out the whole day, but thankyou babyyyyy!

Sidetracking a little, I played like shit today for the friendly match. Totally couldn't catch the flow ok. Missed my layup and a three-point :/ Aaaaaaah. Once again, thank you cutesy and awesome team mates hahah you guys kick ass!

Anyway, fuck yeah forget the shit this year, I got love and everything else on my side now c: Thank you God, thank you everyone!

Going to sleep with an awesome feeling and getting up to an awesome day of training again!

R

Happy Hippie

2009-12-18T02:36:00.003+08:00

Maybe I'm not as tall or as cool or as pretty as the other girls you deem hot or what not, but I think you're special and I still love you.

Awesome day with my awesome stupid c:
Had podcast shizz to complete and then headed for classes before to town to meet Joce, Pei, Wing and Sherwin for abit and met stupid for dinner. Took him out for an awesome dinner and that retard is so bitchy keep making fun of me only grrrrrr. So we got to Heeren to look at my bag and if luck is on our side babe will buy me my Portage c: So exciting, but if it's a nope, then it's a nooooooo. Passed Alicia her assignment and then went homeeeee.

Ohhhhh tiring day.
Friendly match vs NTU tomorrow, better be staying focused.

R

2009-12-17T15:07:00.003+08:00

We all do.
Not everyone sees that but we really do.

I am one helluva attention-seeking person with an ego too big to feed and am always thinking about the ways to make life perfect so thus I think about what ifs, how about that?

R

Feels like a take

2009-12-17T00:32:00.002+08:00

Feels like a drag/

So tired from the 9-6 classes today but I think we're all gonna make it past the holidays. I'm pretty happy that I get some breathing space in the next two weeks but it's still gonna be hectic as hell once the second week starts kicking in. Not funny.

Totally slack in school today, but I managed to catch some stuff. Got KX training today, absorbed some theories and tactical shizz and I'm feeling accomplished because I always take one million years to absorb stuff like that hahah. Need to start focusing and stop being so blur and keep track of my timing and footwork, got a longggg way to go. So glad that sir is very patient with me c:

Anyway, I headed home and am feeling half zoned out. Think I'm gonna catch an episode of HIMYM and pack my bag before heading to bed. I can't wait for Friday now!

And goodluck for your paper tomorrow babe!

R

2009-12-16T00:28:00.002+08:00

21. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you. Poking, light pushing, blocking your way and random high 5’s are tell tell signs.

So that means I still have hmingj's heart c:
I love you annoying boy!

I woke up to Susanne Chan's call, feels like awkward but ok today was fun, made it through the whole lecture day and I was out and around had friggin' alot of fun. L4D is the sex. Hahahahah screamed like some mad woman and laughed like craaaazzy.

It is now 12.34 am and I need to finish a lead paragraph before packing my bag for training and heading for bed. I am so tired, want to sleeeeeep hahah.

Ok back to work gnight!

R

2009-12-15T01:25:00.002+08:00

I only like to be next to you.

I had an awesome productive day, need to keep the spirit going I am falling asleep naaaaao! Can't afford to be late for class next week or I'm damn screwed no attendance and all hmmmm. I can't wait for the week to be over and spend my time doing things I like and spend time thinking about nothinggggggg <: I cannot wait!
And yes, christmas! My first ever christmas spent with my special one <:
So I stoned and did work (yessaaa) and met stupid for dinner he spat on me and kept poking me call me fat all so irritating I hate you sometimes but nevermind you are still cute stupid! Ok the bus is here hehe c:

I love love love you hoodie boy! Hi-5 c:

R

2009-12-14T01:27:00.002+08:00

Welcome to my life. I am now an indie kid, I wear skinny jeans, listen to Tokyo Police Club and own Vans.

Okay I was kidding.

I am dying right now trying to do stupid Flash fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck you web d >: (

But oh well, thank God I had an awesome weekend! Spent my Friday with Dernz stalking people HAHAHAHAH, and then met hmingj to hang out for abit before all of us decided town was too stupid for us and headed back.

So babe and I headed (to my) home to an awesome dinner and HIMYM before crashing for the night and waking at stupid hours HAHAHAH and sleeping in again. Until I realized it was 950 and he was late for work. And then he left so I stoned at home and decided to go tanning before heading for training. Training was crazy, I was so tired zzzzz but I made it. Dinner with the team and all was good. Bubble tea was satisfying hehe (you know you know who you are hehe cheerrup (: ).

My Sunday was awesome, tanned again, got my new kickass bball shoes, had a nice cuppa banana milkshake hehe and received news about my jeans (thanks to JarrelT (: ) and Friday's friendly against NTU. Go KX we are going to make it c:

Alright now I'm back to kill Flash. GRAH.
Part one better be done.

R

2009-12-13T02:00:00.003+08:00

Sometime 10 years down the road, we could wake up to each other every morning.

I love you HoeMingJun c:

R

2009-12-10T23:18:00.000+08:00

Sorry. I don't know what to do, I don't mean to put it across that way, I just don't want to have you going through the repercussions and all that. I don't know what else to say except for sorry.

Alright, work time before I can take another breather from school. Fuck school.

R

2009-12-10T00:56:00.003+08:00

All at once,

I am so so so tired I think I'm gonna turn into bed just in abit. Two of my toenails just dropped out as a result of too much running around in shoes too loose for me and it was kindda awkward at first, but I had fun at gym training (: The shit is that I think I ate too much after that so I don't think working out will help at all. Now I can't wait for Saturday's training hehe.

Ok, after I finish one paragraph I will sleeeeep!

R

2009-12-09T00:48:00.003+08:00

Awesome (: @hmingj

Hello Love! I hope you loved your Apr77s and although it wasn't much of a surprise (yeh after putting you through 30 mins of agony and you with your serious face HAHAH), I think it really made your day, did it? For all the effort you've made on my birthday (pineapple cheesecake + oreo cupcakes + awesome picnic and bridge to my other celebration hehe love you), as your belated birthday present (your birthday that I missed!) and for your love of the Dictator Lightning Rawwwww, forrrr you ok love you love you hahah c:

I am happy cus you are happy and I only hope for happier days. I don't want us to get tired at any point of time. 2 years and we're gonna make it work! Yes? Aaaaaaahhh, (though I never say it on the phone but) I love you (:

Today was lecture day, tiring, but satisfying. The movie during Comm Iss was damn awesome! It's just sad how we always shape the awesome parts of reality only to realize it's all a fraud at the end. Hmmmmm. Jap food for lunch hehe, and had my banana milkshake awesomezzz. Headed to the library to borrow cds for Radio tomorrow and I did some of my work before heading to town. Got stupid's Aprs and headed over to his school to meet him after his training with my "I got something important to tell you" cover up. He believed me and was anticipating the shit that could possibly fall out of my mouth, then realized he got scammed HAHAH. Yah HoeMingJun, you can be an actor but I can be better :D I've mastered it >:D

Sorry for the crazy verbal diarrhea, I am going nuts. Still haven't started on Comm Iss assignment DAMN, and then there's KX gym training tomorrow. Can't wait! (:
Sllleeeeeeepppp for now once I'm done packing!

R

2009-12-08T01:10:00.002+08:00

I am so free now I realized I've been blogging alot, I had fun today at training and I'm looking forward to more bball trainings, I can't wait to get Wednesday over and done with and then throw Friday into the rubbish bin. I can't wait for money to roll into my arms, I can't wait for the holidays but then again I don't because I hate the amount of work that's gonna flow in fml. I hate MCM, I hate school, I hate the amount of weight I'm putting on, I hate how fat I am, I hate so many things, I hate everything I love shopping.

I am so bored, and I refuse to focus on work because I feel like it hehe.
Can I have a Tiffany key naaaaaaoooo!

R

2009-12-07T01:49:00.004+08:00

Last night, I had a dream
We were inseparably entwined
Like a piece of rope made out of two pieces of vine
Held together, holding each other
With no one else in mind
Like two atoms in a molecule
Inseparably combined
-Noah and the Whale

Hello World! I am so tired my eyes are so dry, I have been unproductive and I guess I won't be sleeping for the next few days to complete comm iss and web d especially. Need to get quite abit of work done, and can't wait to get the shizz over and just take time off work and bball once again. So so so tired.

Today was nothing more than an unproductive day I only spent my time shopping non-stop and doing random things, ate alotttt zzzzzzzzz (selegie beancurd! :D) and then I really got nothing done hate it. Got my lycra tunic from Topshop, super happy because I spent one million years looking for it online last night but I got it already now hehe c: Helped babe get his Topman bag too so he doesn't have to think about Slurplife/ Portage/ Crumpler/ whatever anymore hehe c: We met after his work so he can have his bag (someone happy like dope only) and homeeeeeee sweet home.

Now I'm only looking forward to x'mas eve because that equals to second month (oh we made it again HAHAH) and a damn awesome movie marathon (nope no paranormal activity/ LOTR) + my first x'mas with someone ~~special~~stupid c:

Okay, tomorrow I will die I have to do web + commiss and I got training >:

R

2009-12-06T01:31:00.003+08:00

"I love my MaryJane!" Got this off Dernz's tumblr, super cute uh!
I will do whatever it takes to make sure I'm never too busy for you, it's hard but I will try. We should. It's hard knowing that you're truly happy until you finally find a someone to relate that happiness with, someone that listens to your day without saying a thing or saying a million things. Nice things.

And I found you.
Hmingj you are too awesome, NOT hahah!

Okay, gonna get amped up with more basketball than ever because I've made a decision to join the KaiXuan team. I'm only hoping for the best but will expect whatever is to come in place should some shit come flying in my face, which I'm pretty confident will not. I am starting to have absolute faith this is going to work, one way or another. I know this is gonna sound kindda cheesy and retarded and stupid, but I'm really really really looking forward to the Youth Cup because it's gonna be my first one after one million years of doing the talk and not walking the damned walk hahahah. Hmmmmmm.

So I've got school + npbb + kx + family + bfr (+ work if I'm ever gonna get that Awfully Choc job that is damn). I could even possibly have to sign up for internship during the holidays. Oh my life. I guess it's okay to be a workaholic, so now I need 48 hours in a day damn.

Today was good, I filled it up, from officiating at Polympics to cracking on some web d ideas and then for KX training and then I met babe! Burger King definitely wasn't the real deal but you know what that isn't the highlight of the whole dinner, it's the company, tho the stupid dope was half annoying, all the time hahah. Luv you.

Tomorrow spells web d + feature + COMMISS SERIOUSLY I NEED TO START UGH. I better be blogging/ twitting about work damn tmr.

Rest for the night and gonna chiong like there's no tomorrow. I am so gonna own this shit.

R

2009-12-05T01:34:00.002+08:00

Today was eventful.
Got my Merry Braces! And met with Samsterz! Many awesome random moments that make me laugh and keeps me happy, and bought stuff that made my day too. All the awesome clothes a girl could ever ask for hehe c:

Tomorrow is going to be a long, long day.
Got to help out at the Polympics and then do some work and then head down for KX training. It's my first day there so hopefully nuffin' screws up on me or else I'd be really lost for words. Love will be working tomorrow I'm thinking if I should ask him if he is free so we can meet after training and after his work. Can't wait.

Good day to you.

R

2009-12-04T16:18:00.002+08:00

Appearance:

I am 5’4 or shorter.
I have many scars.
I tan easily.
I wish my hair was a different colour.
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
I have a tattoo.
I am self-conscious about my appearance.
I have/I’ve had braces.
I wear glasses.
I’d get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free, scar-free.
I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger.
I have more than 2 piercings.
I have piercings in places besides my ears.
I have freckles.

Family/Home Life:

I’ve sworn at my parents.
I’ve been kicked out of the house.
I have a sibling less than one year old.
I want to have kids someday.
I have children.
I’ve lost a child.

Embarrassment:

I’ve slipped out a “lol” in a spoken conversation.
Disney movies still make me cry.
I’ve snorted while laughing.
I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.
I’ve glued my hand to something.
I’ve laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
I’ve had my pants rip in public.

Health:

I was born with a disease/impairment.
I’ve had stitches.
I’ve broken a bone.
I’ve had my tonsils removed.
I’ve sat in a doctor’s office with a friend.
I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
I’ve had surgery.
I’ve had chicken pox.

Traveling:

I’ve driven over 200 miles in one day.
I’ve been to Canada.
I’ve been to Niagara Falls.
I’ve been to Japan.
I’ve Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
I’ve been to Spain.
I’ve been to Africa.
I’ve been to France.

Experiences:

I’ve been lost in my city.
I’ve seen a shooting star.
I’ve wished on a shooting star.
I’ve seen a meteor shower.
I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas.
I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
I’ve been to a casino.
I’ve been skydiving.
I’ve gone skinny dipping.
I’ve played spin the bottle.
I’ve crashed a car.
I’ve been skiing.
I’ve been in a play.
I’ve met someone in person from the internet.
I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue.
I’ve seen the Northern Lights.
I’ve sat on a roof top at night.
I’ve played chicken.
I’ve played a prank on someone.
I’ve ridden in a taxi.
I’ve seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
I’ve eaten Sushi.
I’ve been snowboarding.

Relationships:

I’m single.
I’m in a relationship.
I’m available.
I’m engaged.
I’m married.
I’ve gone on a blind date.
I’ve been the dumpee more than the dumper.
I miss someone right now.
I have a fear of abandonment.
I’ve been divorced.
I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.
I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
I’ve kept something from a past relationship.

Sexuality:

I’ve had a crush on someone of the same gender.
I’ve kissed a member of the same gender.
I’ve had sex with more than one person at the same time.
I am a cuddler.
I’ve been kissed in the rain.
I’ve had sex outdoors.
I’ve hugged a stranger.
I have kissed a stranger.
I have had sex with a stranger.

Honesty/Crime:

I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t.
I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
I have lied to my parents about where I am.
I am keeping a secret from the world.
I’ve cheated while playing a game.
I’ve cheated on a test.
I’ve run a red light.
I’ve been suspended from school.
I’ve witnessed a crime.
I’ve been in a fist fight.
I’ve been arrested.
I’ve shoplifted.

Drugs/Alcohol:

I’ve consumed alcohol.
I’ve smoked a cigarette.
I‘ve smoked pot.
I regularly drink.
I’ve taken painkillers when I didn’t need them.
I’ve done hard drugs.
I’ve been addicted to an illegal drug

HAHAH I AM SO BORED SAM IS LAUGHING WITH, NO LOL-ING WITH ME HEHE.
Cheesecake! Anyone? c:

R

2009-12-04T01:37:00.002+08:00

Call me needy, call me stupid, call me annoying, call me sticky, whatever you like.
But some days I just don't want to think about all the work, all the problems and about my life,
I just want to be where you are.

We've been too tired, too weary. Too much school, too much of everything. I am moody, and I really don't want to think, I don't want to deal with anything that makes me think too hard.
I'm feeling too much of a no-brainer right now, I just want to be a stupid person flying a kite now.

Yesterday, I was upset.
I couldn't or maybe I didn't want to sleep because I was upset.
And upon seeing your post on my wall, I lit up. But it made me feel worst than ever for telling you whatever I did.

I just want you to know you've made it; you are now the center of my attention, and to a certain extreme extent, my life.

I don't know how to say it all out to you, so I wrote it here.
I love you so much babe, you are beyond awesome and I miss you. I hope you know that.

Yet another day just took its leave, and I have to wake to an insane shit all over again, boring routines and what not. But thank God my mac is back. I feel a little more in control now.

R

2009-12-03T00:58:00.002+08:00

So I could say to you that,
I know thing aren't quite like what they used to be
Different faces, different places yeah.
We could try, oh yeah we could try!
-We Can Try by Between The Trees

I am trying very very very hard to keep everything in check, trying very hard to stop feeling like that, trying very hard to feel a little less indifferent.

Well I don't know.

I'm so tired I only want to think about sleep and nothing else.
On a lighter note, the day has been kind. Did well for Radio test and managed with some results for training. Hopefully we're gonna be unstoppable.

Also, on behalf of FengHua and his crazy love for Rugby, please vote:
Low Feng Hua, Rugby, ITE, POL-ITE
Then tick the box, scroll down and press vote.
Link: http://redsports.sg/2009/12/01/posb-favourite-athlete-of-the-year/

Gonna head out for a suicide kill.

R

2009-12-02T01:02:00.004+08:00

Is it too much to ask for anything in return?

I realized my expectations are rocketing sky high, and I am getting very very very difficult to please and to deal with. Honestly, I'm starting to get annoyed with myself. I don't know.
I'm starting to see a side of myself I don't want to see. I'm just like any other Miss Petty who doesn't want to try.

I'm tired, so worn out, literally. I think I just need a good night's sleep to clear the load off.
On a lighter note, went to check out FMS team at soccer polympics, good try yall! And picked babe up from his school after the friendly match (NP vs NYP) where I was accused of being a traitor hurhur, made a new friend with an interesting character though hmmmmm. Anyway, babe and I bus-ed home with Jason, the boys had their LJS and home it was.

So I saw you today but miss you so so so much still.

R

2009-11-30T15:23:00.002+08:00

So now you know-wwwoooaaahhhhh

I am listening to Click 5 because I absolutely miss them, that's for one, and yes, for my radio presentation on Wednesday. I don't think I'm gonna make it right or good, but it is worth a try to get my work done on time. Hmmmmm.

It's been one hell of a long weekend, and I pretty much loved the jelloe mode we were all in, just doing work at a slow rate and not having alot to worry about. But the fact that Monday kicked in just makes everything mellow and shitty. Monday blues huh. And the dry eyes aren't helping either. Oh fuck that I need some drive.

Anyway, I am starting to feel like I'm sandwiched in the middle. You know how everyone keeps telling me it's okay and that I shouldn't get overly emotional about some things happening in my life? I can't help it. I'm trying to not feel a thing, because well, I'm not supposed to, and it's not worth me fretting over the minor things in life; I would probably have to get over it.

Yup, sure sounds like a small fry.

So I watch people slogging it out and dedicating their precious time, with full commitment to their cause, all to make things good with others and not self in mind. Forced to be the all-rounder, had to take the rap for all the mistakes and what not, even begging people to help so to make things work. How and who was I to be a pretender now, really?

Guess we should all look past the self and take a good look at others before making decisions. I hate how "Well put yourself in my shoes" might sound so overrated and overused but really, put yourself in my shoes before you start telling me it's okay because it truly isn't. Might not matter to others but, there's always a reason behind everything; it can't be just plain feeling unless you're talking to a hopeless romantic. Really.

I'd like to think it's a very trivial matter, but you know what? It isn't.

Oh well. Radio practice session and training to come in abit. Not really looking forward to any of that but aaaahhh, gotta get down to it. Guess the team might withdraw from IVP, but what can I say? Hmmmmm.

R

2009-11-28T02:25:00.002+08:00

I feel like I'm on a cloud.

Nuuuuaaaaaaah-ed like a jello today, super unproductive, 'cept for the fact that I got around watching Remember The Titans. Awesome movie, definitely triggered something inside me hahah. Had no mood to do anything and this whole fatigue is catching up so I didn't manage to catch up with cupcake buddy (sorry ok hehe). Can't wait to get my shirts from Threadless and AA c: Hmmmmm, very fat nao.

Still love you even tho you're so damned annoying, HoeMingJunBITCHY!

Zoned out

2009-11-27T16:23:00.003+08:00

I have managed to waste half my Friday away and I really don't feel like doing anything else except to roll around in bed and wait for something good to happen. No tanning because the sun went down, no work because my brain says no, and nope, no movies either, maybe later. Just really bored out of my wits and I refuse to do anything. Maybe 'cus the tiring week is over, lost my drive for the day, I only feel like bursting into fits of rage.

Sometimes I wonder, when I say everything could fall in place, did I mean everything or nothing at all? I really hate myself. Choices, choices, all a matter of choice.

Ah whatever, probably another one of those days.

Please me

2009-11-27T02:05:00.002+08:00

Finally back to kick some ass after the crazy week with only three to five hours of sleep each day, damnnnnn! Am so happy to be free and alive after all of that. Maybe a little bummed out cus I need to redo my flash shizz for my website but nevermind it's ok c: All is good!

So my crazy week consisted of doing alot alot alot of web design, and after I was done my stupid Mac had a freak accident with water grrrr so my poor mac crashed and submission's delayed till Monday. I swear I was foaming at the mouth and crying my eyeballs out ok it's like almost a week or something went down the bloody drain! Then came slogging out for my FA1 within two days and it literally fried my brains and eyeballs zzzzzzzz.

And after one whole hectic week, I met with love again c: We were all busy kids stuck with assignments and tests, but we got past a month and I'm sure in a blink of an eye, we'd make it a year c: Two years, we gotta make it right! I wasted it, and I don't wanna throw what we have ever again.

Billy Bombers kick some ass hehe. We were too stoned and in our own little worlds but it's okay. Once a week isn't too bad hahah luv you! Oh and nope haven't posted about my birthday yet HAHAH (but really I had an awesome time). Shall talk more about it when the pictures get in tho c:

Tomorrow spells Flash and watching remember the titans for the movie analysis + starting on radio scripting furreaaaalllll.

Crazy timessss but thank God for awesome friends (you know who you are hehe) c: Love all!

Worn out to the max, HIMYM and my well-deserved sleep!

2009-11-20T13:55:00.003+08:00

I'm sorry babe, but I can always try again for you.
I love you, always c:

Alright school now, one million things to do. And really, sometimes I wonder why we cannot scrap the stupid stereotypes of the students from that other faculty. Damn, don't wanna feel that way but it just makes me cringeeeeeeee. Okay, proper updates another time, will keep to retarded entries like that for now.

R

2009-11-20T02:29:00.003+08:00

Oh I miss you so, so much.
Now don't I sound like a love sick bird already? Damn!

R

2009-11-19T21:56:00.001+08:00

It's just getting a little too... intense. Too... mundane, maybe?

Maybe it's just me.
Ought to get back to work now goodnight.

R

Half-stoned

2009-11-19T01:04:00.001+08:00

HoeMingJun (L)uv c:

R